What should I do if my 11-24 month old child hits others or himself?

Many children at this age do not yet understand the consequences of their actions, the feelings of others, and what is right and wrong, which can lead to a variety of aggressive behaviors.

Today, we will take the time to explain why children, aged 11 to 24 months, who are unable to express their feelings or the reasons for their actions well, attack others or hit themselves .

Why do we hit our children?

• limit test

There are common reasons why children at this age engage in behavior such as throwing, hitting, and screaming. It's about testing the limits of what's allowed.

Infants have little impulse control.

Studies show that hitting occurs when people are frustrated , happy , or bored .

Fortunately, as the frontal lobe and cognitive abilities develop, children become better at controlling their impulses . Until then, it is necessary to firmly restrain children from doing things they should not do, and to continue to model and teach them good behavior that they can do .

• to get attention

Also , it is said that children at this age, aged 11 to 24 months , are still able to hit others, but they do not think that they should not hit others and do not feel pain .

That is why many children want to receive attention from adults during this period.

You can often see them engaging in aggressive behavior because they want to get attention from their friends .

If the cause of a child’s behavior is “ interest , ”

If you give your child more attention than usual when his or her behavior is bad , your child's behavior may get worse .

• Because it is difficult to control emotions

Another reason is that we don't know how to understand or deal with our own emotions .

The more frustrated you are with a friend's actions , the more angry or sad you may be .

Or, since they are not yet good at sharing things with their friends, they may be angry because they have to share limited toys, so their aggressive behavior may have occurred .

Since they do not know what emotions they are experiencing and cannot calmly express them in words, they come out through actions .

• Because you want to avoid/get something

You may be feeling a lot of stress due to something in your environment, or you may be feeling unwell and want to get out of the situation.

Or maybe there is an activity you don't want to do and you want to avoid it.

Or, on the contrary, it could be because you want to gain something .

If you have obtained the object, food, toy, or activity you want after engaging in aggressive behavior, you may naturally use aggressive behavior in other situations to get what you want.

 

How should I respond when my child hits me?

It may not be effective for all children , but I hope you can find the method that is most helpful for your child among the various methods .

• physically restraining

If you are testing your child to see how far they can tolerate , it is effective to firmly stop them through physical restraint .

If you know in which situations your child shows particularly aggressive behavior , you may be able to prevent it in advance .

When physically restraining someone , you must do so calmly and firmly, as you mentioned . Since they are still babies, it may be difficult to restrain them strongly .

However, if a child hurts someone or himself with his or her hands ,

In fact, this hand is also a tool for attack, just like holding a stick to attack , so be very firm .

Parents, teachers, grandparents, etc. all need to consistently express that hitting or hurting children is never acceptable under any circumstances.

There is no need to get angry , but explain physically and verbally, “ That’s not allowed. ” When the child calms down a little , you can guide them to another play .

• Removing the child from the situation (Time-Out)

Quietly removing the child from the situation can be very effective for some children because there is a clear consequence that if the child engages in hitting , they will not be able to play for a while .

However , keep in mind that it may take more than one timeout for children to understand the consequences of hitting .

It would be nice to have it in a different room , or a quiet corner of the same room, slightly away from the activity , and you don't have to explain in detail why you're doing this .

Since you are showing it through your actions, pay as little attention as possible to your child during time-out, and if your child seems to calm down for about 1 to 3 minutes, return to the playing area.

If your child tries to attack again , you will have to go back to time-out again .

Whether or not this time-out can be done will likely vary depending on the child's understanding , parent or teacher's patience , time , and environment .

I would like you to analyze the cause of your child's behavior and discuss ways to deal with it with those around you .

• Divide your attention into other activities

I told you that a child may attack to get attention .

In these cases, it is important to provide a distraction and give more attention to positive behavior .

When your child is playing happily before he or she attacks, give him/her much more attention, praise, or hug him or her .

You can also praise your child by holding his hand and showing him how to gently touch the other person before he expresses his displeasure with his hands .

The behavior of not hitting is much more frequent than the behavior of hitting.

Please remember that hitting will gradually go away if your dog receives a lot of attention.

• Provide emotional support

If hitting comes from not being able to handle your emotions well ,

You can help us figure out how to express various emotions or how to control our emotions .

For some children, simply giving them a hug and reading their emotions may be enough .

Letting you hug your pet doll or favorite toy ,

You can make it bang bang with a drum toy or something like that .

It is important to find a way to control emotions that is right for your child.

If you have a little patience , be consistent , and continue to provide positive reinforcement ,

Most children overcome hitting behavior and learn to express their emotions in healthy ways .

The child's behavior cannot be responded to using the above methods.

If you are concerned that there may be another cause,

We recommend that you consult in more detail with an expert.