Helping Your Child Adjust: Managing Separation Anxiety (Part 1)

"Firsts"—a word that feels unfamiliar to some, yet new and exciting to others. New teachers, new friends, and new places... How are your little ones adjusting?

During this transition period, the concern I hear most often is: "My child cries so much when we part ways. They just won't stop crying!"

There are two main ways to help with a smooth separation:

1. Reducing the child’s anxiety

2. Reducing the parent’s anxiety

Today, let’s start with the practical ways parents can actively reduce a child’s anxiety.

• Create a goodbye ritual: Establish a pattern that helps your child predict what’s coming next. It could be a high-five or a big squeeze. But keep it brief! If the goodbye lingers too long, the child may start to feel that saying goodbye is a negative thing.

• Don’t just "disappear": Some children are more shocked when a parent suddenly vanishes. To avoid this, let them know in advance when you’ll be leaving, and when the time comes, say your goodbyes as promised and head out.

• Leave a comfort object: If your child has a favorite stuffed animal, let them keep it. You can also give them something of yours to hold onto. Find an item that can soothe their anxiety.

• Verbally acknowledge your return: When you come back, say things like, “I came back just like I promised!” or “See? I’m here right after your class!” This reinforces the concept that you will always return at the promised time. It might be hard at first, but over time, they will learn to think, "Oh, Mom/Dad will be back soon."

Separation anxiety can last for 10 weeks or even several months. It can also suddenly reappear after a family trip.

While the best approach is to find what works specifically for your child through communication with their teacher, your calm and consistent behavior will help your child adjust much faster.

Now that we’ve looked at how to reduce the child's anxiety, next time we’ll talk about how to manage the parent’s anxiety. Stay tuned for the next post! 💪🏻 💪🏻

Next article : How to help children struggling to adjust to daycare (Part 2)

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